I have noticed that the columns are too wide for a newspaper article, so next time try to make them more narrow. You can also include a few more pictures, and could add subheading so if someone want to read something specific they can look at the subheading instead of reading the whole article over and over again. However i like the way you mixed 3rd and 1st person to try adn relate to your target audience.
Aamna, there are some fairly significant problems with this. I agree with Sulman's comments about layout. The journalism starts out quite well, although your language is fairly difficult and it reads like an essay rather than a piece of journalism. However as you progress there seems to be rather a lot of cut and paste, which is not acceptable. This feels like very rushed, incomplete work. Please also type and upload your evaluation, which I have marked. Vanessa
I have noticed that the columns are too wide for a newspaper article, so next time try to make them more narrow. You can also include a few more pictures, and could add subheading so if someone want to read something specific they can look at the subheading instead of reading the whole article over and over again. However i like the way you mixed 3rd and 1st person to try adn relate to your target audience.
ReplyDeleteAamna, there are some fairly significant problems with this. I agree with Sulman's comments about layout. The journalism starts out quite well, although your language is fairly difficult and it reads like an essay rather than a piece of journalism. However as you progress there seems to be rather a lot of cut and paste, which is not acceptable. This feels like very rushed, incomplete work. Please also type and upload your evaluation, which I have marked. Vanessa
ReplyDelete